Friday, January 7, 2011

Ransom Note

{written in a very Bronx-y accent}


Ta whum it maaayyy conswern,

We've abducked your little Mishmash Maggie, der.  Yeah, and we's got demands before we release her back to this here blogosphere, see?

Fouist, we need us some Auntie Biotics, okay?  Strong ones like.

Then, we need us cough medicine with narcotics, get it?  Sleepin' with the fishes, that's what we like.

We's apprecimanate the friends coming by with flowers, bread, and soups.  Yeah, thems were mighty tasty.

Oh yeah, and dat card sent by dat sweet lil' Texan-soon-to-be-a temporary Guam Island kinda gal, dat, well now, dat was somethin' precious.  We loves that Hoops and Yo-yo.  Although we was laughing kinda hard and makin' that Mishmash Maggie cough some mores. But she got over it.

Now, we knows lots of y'alls have been makin' nice comments like, on her Facebook page and all.  But, we're not keepin' her from being on Wastebook, cuz you know, it don't take no brain cells to be on der.

We need one more thing before we release back to the blogosphere, see?  Cuzin' it takes more effort to actually write stuff down and have it, y'know, make sense.

So what do we need?  What is our demands?

Well now, there's dat book she's been readin' lots of since she can't do nuthin' else (like cleaning her house).  Anyways, there's this verse in der that says,

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: 
but a broken spirit drieth the bones.


She got some of them there test results back and it looks like her bones is a little dried up.  Not too bad, mind ya, just a little... eh, thin, you might say.  Which makes her laugh til she's coughin' a something fierce because nobody's used her name and "thin" in the same sentence for years!

But, we digress (fancy-schmancy word, huh?)  what we need is a little "merry making."

You know, jokes, funny stories, something encouraging that you could, ya know, leave in them there comment sections.

So what does you say?  Even a smiley face will do, y'know, if you is tied to chair dangling from a bridge and can't really type somethin' long-ish.

Signed,

Vinny "Kick you while you're down" the Virus and Benny "Beat your ribs outta place" the Bacteria





8 comments:

Kathi said...

:)

(...because 5 rowdy, little boys at 7am is almost the same thing as being tied to a chair while dangling from a bridge!)

I love you and I hope you feel better soon.

P.S. I'm quiet everywhere.

Be well!
Kathi

Kara said...

I hope you feel better very soon! I have no funny at the moment, but I did like the New Jerseyesque of the ransom note.... very convincing! :)

Lifting you up in prayer now, dear sister.

Asking for blessings of health...and funny,

Kara

MarshaMarshaMarsha said...

How can you be so much more clever and funny when you are sick than I can be when I am well?

No funny stories to share. Trying to get things done around here before we head out on Monday.

I sure do love you, Lainie dear!

Hithertoalas said...

What does a symphony play when it's sick?


TchaiCOUGHsky


I thought it was funny =)

Hithertoalas said...

I thought of another one =)

Three guys walk into a bar...you'd think the third guy would have seen it coming =)

Hithertoalas said...

OOH OOH OOH I though of another one, this one might be my favorite =)


What's blue and smells like red paint?...BLUE PAINT

hehehe

Hithertoalas said...

Oh, one last thing, since I'm not actually there to do this...

(>")>


it's a hug monster =)

Lainie said...

Katie! You crack me up!!

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