Saturday, November 13, 2010

A Heart To Understand

I'm embarking on a journey to understand God's heart and perfect will for a woman in 2010 (and 2011 since 2010 is almost over).

Lainie dear, you're doing it again.  You've started mid-thought.  Please back-up and tell us what you're talking about...

Quite right... reverse gear...

So... as you know, our daughter Abby recently started a blog, Castles, Quills, and Cameras, which was nominated for Best Teen blog at HSBA.

Abby was stunned, and I would add rather confused, by the nomination (because her blog is so new).

She went online to see the other nominees.

We didn't talk about the other nominees until Thursday--
when we did some much needed "loads of laundry."

You see, I didn't "check out" the other nominees.

My daughter was nominated, so I voted for my daughter.  End of story.

I had no idea who else was nominated-- honestly, I didn't really care :)

I didn't realize that Abby, not only knew the other nominees (by visiting each blog), but that she cared more deeply than even she realized.

Apparently, all the blogs nominated belong to females except one.

All the female blogs have a similar "flavor" except one.

Abby's blog.

Now we are really throwing this thing into reverse... hold on...

I don't, what you would call, blend.

Meaning, I don't blend in... to the crowd.  And I rarely feel as though I belong or "fit" anywhere.

I, however, am used to not fitting in.  In standing out/apart, I've found my place and I've accepted it and embraced it.

It wasn't easy though.

Briefly, I am half Filipino and half "American."

My mom is a dark-haired, born in the Philippines, lived in Hawaii, accented, four-foot, ten inch brown-y, while my dad is a Wisconsin dairy farm boy, blond haired, blue-eyed white-y.

That would make me...

too brown to be white, too white to be brown.

The half-and-half term is called, "Mestiza."

I heard this term a lot as a child.

Depending on the speaker, I would hear, "Mestiza" with a tone of pity, a tone of envy, but rarely, a tone of welcome.

The only immediate acceptance a mestiza has is with, you guessed it, another mestiza.

I've always felt the "odd man out" even in my own extended family growing up-- until recently.

Now that Jesus has claimed our hearts, we are united in Him, and I feel a sense of belonging that is new and quite wonderful.

But growing up... I was a tomboy, yet not very athletic.

I wanted to be a police man or fire man!

Yet, I was... tiny... kinda scrawny.

I was alone a lot.

I have gotten used to being misunderstood and now take great delight in being unique, rather quirky, and looking for (and finding) acceptance in my Jesus, who knit me together in my mother's womb and knew me, inside and out, before the foundations of the world and unapologetically loves me.

What does this have to do with my daughter?

Well... she has "inherited" my case of "misfit-itis".

Commercial break:

Loved this song and sequence as a kid...
It was kind of my personal anthem...

Okay, where were we?  Oh yes, Abby has also experienced much angst because she doesn't "blend" very well either.

She is a whole lot of "somethin', somethin'" in a tiny little package.

Like her mother, she feels most comfortable with people significantly older or younger.
Peers?  Hmmm, not so much.

She wrestles with her lack of "fitting in" periodically.  I do my best to assure her that as she gets older  the age thing becomes less of an issue.

But she'll always be tiny and brown and tiny.  Did I mention she is tiny?
Oh, and smart.  Scary smart sometimes...

She loves to dance, but lined up in that great big ballet school mirror, the evidence is often overwhelming how much she doesn't "look" like a classic ballerina.

But I love to watch her dance... her graceful movements... the joy on her face.

These blog awards have become another "large mirror" to see her reflection in comparison to other teen girls.

This is where my journey starts... to find concrete answers for my daughter's heart.

See, she doesn't blog about modesty.

She blogs about movie-making.

Yet, she is modest.

She doesn't blog about courtship.

She blogs about cameras.

Yet, her heart is submitted to her parents and she respects our covering in her life.

She doesn't blog about growing into the woman her future husband will need.
She doesn't blog about home making... or baking... or needle crafts.

She blogs about books, about writing, about the passions she has right now and how she desires to give God glory with those passions.

Yet, she is growing, beautifully, into a godly woman who knows how to care for a home and she can cook--mainly because she loves to eat :)

She doesn't blog about how to be a godly teen.

Yet, she is a godly teen-- gracious, kind, tender-hearted, and with great integrity.

But seeing those other blogs... made her "feel" outside.

Outside of God's love, His approval, His will.

She actually enjoys many of the new blogs she discovered on the nominee list and knows that who they are, what they blog about, and what God has called them to be is awesome.

She was just...hesitant... about herself because at first glance, she "looks" different.

We talked much on Thursday about being led by the Spirit... about the radical nature of Jesus... about His peace that promises, proooommmises to lead us.

We talked about the fruit... the evidence of the Spirit's occupation in a life.

With her ten questions, come one hundred of my own!

Am I disobeying God's will for my daughter's by encouraging her to make movies?

By letting her wear pants??

By not teaching her how to can fruit???

I want... no.... I need answers, straight from God's Word, about womanhood.

And so I am on a journey, for myself and my daughters, to learn what God's heart and will is for these two precious young women in my home and very much in my heart.

I love Matthew Henry's comment on the creation of Eve:

If man is the head, she [woman] is the crown,
a crown to her husband, the crown of the visible creation.
The man was dust refined, but the woman was double-refined,
one remove further from the earth...
The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam;
not made out of his head to rule over him,
nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him,
but out of his side to be equal with him,
under his arm to be protected,
and near his heart to be beloved.

I will leave you with this quote from Herbert Lockyer's All The Women of the Bible:

Eve, then, was Adam's second self and differed from him in sex only, not in nature.  Priority of creation gave Adam headship but not superiority.  Both man and woman were endowed for equality and for mutual interdependence.

Often woman excels man in the capacity to endure ill-treatment, sorrow, pain and separation.  Throughout history, man, through pride, ignorance, or moral perversion has treated woman as being greatly inferior, and has enslaved and degraded her accordingly.

Among many heathen tribes today, woman is a mere chattel, the burden-bearer, with no rights whatever to equality with man.

    While the ancient world was predominantly a man's world, woman enjoyed a status in Israel not generally experienced in the East.

The Jews, holding to the revelation given to Moses of woman's endowments, worth, rightful position, were outstanding among other oriental nations in holding woman in high esteem, honor, and affection.

Christianity, as we are to see, brought full emancipation to womanhood, and wherever Christ is recognized as Saviour and His truth is obeyed, woman is esteemed as man's loved companion, confidant, and, in many ways, his better half.


Do you wrestle with biblical womanhood?


Four For France said...

Loved this, Lainie. Love the way you love your children. Love the way you love your God.

RachelT said...

Hi Lainie! Ditto to the above comment! I really enjoy your own, unique blog posts. I have more to say, but maybe an e-mail would be better.

RachelT said...

I just finished reading Karen Kingsbury's newest release, "Unlocked". Here is a quote from her "Reader Letter" at the end of the book. "Be the wonderful unique person God made you to be, and know that your purpose will always be best when defined by your faith in Him." ;)

IAMmom said...

from one mestiza to another ;P

Here was my thought after I read this post. You are helping to shape this child to be a whole person. With passion and courage to go and do what God places in her heart to do. That is a gift to her and through her to the rest of us.

Still working on what biblical womanhood is myself, but I know it can't be canned or cross stitched :) We need her just as she is in the body of Christ. Maybe she is the lens on the eye, helping us all to see things the way they really are.

Oh and when you and the Captain give her away someday to a worthy young man, he won't have to unwrap a beautiful but empty box she will be full of life and love and the knowledge of Christ.

I was really encouraged by this post. Thanks for sharing your heart.

IAMmom said...

"too brown to be white, too white to be brown" -- my whole life! That is why I am embracing the name yellow girl. It is me right there in the middle. Years of being asked "what ARE you???", well I am yellow girl, saved, loved, and accepted.

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