Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Dating My Daughters

Just after I had our first daughter, a wise friend told me that when she was around 9 years old her mom would take her out on a weekly date.

They would go to the same restaurant for breakfast on the same day of the week. They just spent that weekly time together talking about ordinary things usually. Sometimes it was deep and serious but usually it was just time together.

She told me how much she looked forward to having mom "all to herself."

So when our eldest was 9 ish, I started taking her out for a weekly (we did miss a few here or there) breakfast. We went to the same place every Saturday morning. I found that even though we didn't usually discuss anything big, it helped her to feel like she had my attention and didn't have to share it with her younger siblings.

I don't remember how we stopped doing the breakfasts. I think it was when I was having health problems. Now we usually have a "date" in my room where we chat about whatever is on her heart and the younger two aren't allowed to interrupt.

Well, our youngest daughter is now 10 and she's in that familiar, quirky, fourth grade age. We have started our breakfast dates. We are a little more adventurous though. We try a different breakfast place each time we go. It hasn't been weekly. It's been more like monthly but even that infrequently it's helped our "middle" child to feel like I see her and have time for her.

We're going out this morning and I thought I would share what works for us. It seemed especially important to do after that Empty Nest post from Shannon's "What I'd Like You To Know" series.

For more things that work or to post your own, visit Rocks In My Dryer.

Now if you'd excuse me, I need to go get ready for my date!

Updated: Here is my coloring page from the restaurant! :)


Andrea Bell said...

I saw you:) You both looked Lovely:)

I am sure you had so much fun and that Brigitta found some very cute "zapatos" hehehehe

Wanda said...

Marvelous idea.

Time is a fly's right by.

Enjoy them now.

I'm a mom with 3 teens now. It seems like yesterday they were 9 or 10.

pam said...

What a great idea! I like the "date" in your room when you can't carve out time otherwise.
I enjoy taking walks with my three kids one on one. It's a great way to get them talking.

Blue Castle said...

That is a really great idea and a way to keep you connected with your daughter as she grows up. Love that. :)

The Happy Housewife said...

What a great idea, I need to start doing this!

Mrs. Bridget G. said...

Wow, you are brave. I'd rather talk to Fidel Castro than have a heart to heart with my daughter. I am deathly TERRIFIED of what she will ask me. We have many things we haven't covered yet incl. where babies come from, the difference between boys and girls, menstrual cycles, etc. And all of those examples she has already tried to ask me at least something about. She's only 5!

Wendy said...

This is a great idea. I see the need now I just need to get out there. Here from Rocks.... Like the look of things.

Thanks for posting.


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